Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Needed: Mail Carrier Training 101

I ordered two gifts for Dan for this Christmas. I waited patiently for their arrivals, making sure to beat Dan to the door every time the doorbell rang, just in case it was a delivery person with one of his gifts. I was afraid that the package might reveal what was inside.

The first gift arrived a few days ago, and I successfully received it from the UPS carrier and secreted it away. But the second gift was taking its sweet time in transit.

Yesterday, just as we sat down for lunch, the doorbell chimed. Dan started to get up, but I stopped him, reminding him that it could be a Santa delivery. I went to the door, and there stood the mail carrier. He gave me a big smile and, as he handed me Dan's Christmas gift, he jovially and loudly announced (reading the words on the box), "The world's coolest rain gauge!" My eyes grew wide; I quickly put my finger to my lips and gave a frantic jerk, with my head, back toward Dan, but it was too late. As they say, you can't un-ring the bell. The mailman looked contrite as I snatched the box from him. I closed the door and ran to hide the "surprise" in the closet.

Back at the table, I tried to nonchalantly sit back down and eat lunch with Dan, pretending nothing had happened (the ostrich approach to an awkward situation). But he wasn't going to let it go. "What did he say?" he asked. "Oh, nothing . . . nothing," I said. "How's your sandwich?"

We finished our lunch and, as I was clearing the table, I tested the waters . . . "It's a good thing I didn't let you answer the door," I said, "because the box had a picture and words that gave away the contents."

"Yeah," he responded. "A rain gauge." I'm no good at these kinds of awkward situations. My face gave it all away; I just caved, and we both laughed. I'll still wrap it and make him open it. He'd better pretend to be surprised! Hopefully I can keep his other gift a secret for 20 more days.

At this time of year the USPS should give mail carriers some training in Christmas discretion!

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