Defining Moment #5 - Childbirth

Having children defined me as a mother. I remember, a few days before Chris was born, trying to wrap my mind around that concept. "Today I'm not a mother, but next week I will be." I tried to comprehend it, but really couldn't until the first moment I held my baby.

I learned many lessons through being a mother, not least of which is that God knows, better than I, what children I should have. If I could have shopped for my children through a mail-order catalog, and been allowed to choose every single characteristic I wanted, I doubt that I would have checked the boxes beside (just to name a few):

a Allergies and asthma
a Attention deficit
a Non-stop talking
a Delayed speech
a Slow to potty train
a Fearless and accident prone
a Overly cautious

And yet, as it turned out, I love each of my sons, not in spite of having some of those characteristics, but because of them! I gradually learned to treasure each small trait that played a part in making them the wonderfully unique little fellows they were (and big fellows they are). And if I had custom ordered designer-kids, I wouldn't have ended up with the two that I love with all my heart.

Having children defined me as someone who defends, protects, provides, compliments, encourages, comforts, disciplines, trains, teaches, enjoys, plays with and takes pride in her children. That would be a mother.

Those Little Ones

I recently started teaching the two- and three-year-old Bible class on Sunday mornings. It's a small class, with anywhere from one to four little ones there on any particular Sunday. This age group is my favorite one to teach. They are so adorable I can hardly stand it!

A couple weeks ago, I read to them a little picture book about being quiet and listening when someone is praying. Toward the end of the book there was a picture of a little boy, sitting on a small wooden chair, with his head bowed. "What do you think this little boy is doing?" I asked, in hopes that the lesson had made an impact. Victoria was ready with an answer, though not the one I was fishing for. "He's sitting in time-out," she said, with a pouty little look.

Tag, You're (not) It!

(Or, "It's My Blog, So I'll Rant if I Want To!")

I heard on the radio, the other morning, that a growing number of school districts around the country have banned kids from playing tag on the playground. Their reasons? First, the kids could get hurt; and second, "it causes self-esteem issues among the weaker and slower children." (FOXNews)

Now, I'm the first to be there, scooping up some kiddo who has fallen and hurt herself, wiping tears, plastering band-aids and offering kisses. Who doesn't hate to see a child get hurt?! On the other hand, scraped knees are as much a part of childhood as runny noses. And isn't tag a pretty benign introduction to the concept of winning and losing? ABC News did an unscientific poll of youngsters: Should tag be banned at school? Their response was a resounding "no." One kid summed it up this way: "You'll have nothing to do if they ban tag, because it's just not fun without tag." (ABC News)

I don't think anyone invented tag. No one has to teach it to a child. Running and chasing are instinctive activities to human children. Playing a game like tag helps kids learn to resolve disputes and to problem-solve on their own, not to mention the physical activity it encourages. I remember, for instance, all the rules that evolved on the playground because we, the kids, saw a need, agreed upon a solution and, then, enforced "our" rules. And if a child really is stressed out over tag, won't he/she naturally gravitate away from that game and on to the monkey bars, jump rope, or some other playground activity?

I feel sorry for kids today, in many ways. The "carefree days of childhood" are becoming a thing of the past (I know this is a generality, and not applicable to every mother's child). Their days, now, are over-scheduled, over-managed, over-analyzed and over-tested (don't get me going on that last one). Their days are lacking in free time, down time, spontaneity, and adventure.

Some of this reduced freedom is unavoidable and even prudent, because of dangers in today's society; I certainly understand that. But, as the adage goes, let's not throw the baby out with the bath water. Teach the kids about stranger danger. Be diligent in supervision. Know where your children are. Know their teacher, their friends and their friends' parents. But, for goodness sake (no, for their sake), let them play tag!